A Rival Apple Reviewer, writing me about today’s review of Chip..
Well, let me tell you, sir, you are an imbecile to challenge me, you obviously have no taste for what I call the 5 Fs: Flavour, Freshness, Friendliness, Femininity, and Fleshiness. Chip showed none of the 5!
In fact, I would say that, although not one of the Fs to judge apples by, your response has a dire lack of Facundity!
To bring my self down to a more equitable level, I will go ahead and say that your quoting was nice, and the phrase “apple of my eye” aptly used, but still I won’t be eating that apple again any time soon!
Absurd! Chip is a cute, delectable treat! Such a memorable fruit, I can still hear him asking, “Do I still have to sleep in the cupboard?” He is perfect for any true apple lover’s sensitive palate. Chip is the apple of my eye, and if you give him a chance, he’ll be yours too.