After a weekend of crisis, I woke up today angry at my position as head reviewer here at ARN, and so when I went to dinner and looked at the apple selection I was thrown into a thrashing rage at even the thought of eating ANOTHER apple.

With a frightened sadness hung heavy as a cloth over my eyes I grabbed a pear and held it tight against my breast.

My hope lay in this pear, if I can become so famous for my apple reviews, surely I can do it with pears. I had to prove to myself I could do this.

Tentatively, I take a bite, and find the pear harder than it should be. Chewing, I realize it tastes really awful and not at all good and throw it away immediately.

I remember now why I originally loved apples, etc.

Onward, apple lovers!